Being misgendered is really painful.

So, recently I have had work, wont name the company because what I’m writing haven’t got anything to do with them, but a few colleagues. Well, and myself, a bit, for not speaking up, but I’ll explain why.

So, for 3 days, I have been working at a racecourse, I won’t say where, but I was working in the kitchens away from punters eyes and around a lot of staff. Most of whom, was misgendering me, constantly.

And I couldn’t say anything. Even when I tried I got talked over and it made it harder for me to speak up. Like I had a mental block and they just kept on talking, making a presumtion that I was a hetero male who wants kids and get married. They absolutly were closed minded about who I was as an individual and making automatic assumtions and made it difficult for me to speak up and tell them I’m nothing of the sort in their head.

Eventually I did get to tell one of them that I am a girl, not a guy on the last day. Yet, I still got misgendered, even been referred to as a “gentlemen” by one of those guys. The second day, which was also the first day being around a certain group for 2 days, was the worst. I felt like absolute crap, constantly misgendered and had either an anxiety attack or maybe was feeling very dysphoric, as this was hugely triggering. I didn’t think I’d ever get misgendered so badly it would happen all day, for I thought that it couldn’t hapen now, after being on HRT for 3 years, but I guess my voice or the dreaded beard shadow gives people a different perception of who I am. It felt like a massive wake up call for me, as I was taking it for granted that people saw me as a woman, yet, I was proven wrong at a workplace environment.

 

After leaving work on the second day and after talking to my girlfriend Alice on the phone, I cried. I cried after getting home and being held by Alice. I hadn’t felt so pathetic and dismissive by strangers before in my life and it really hurt so, so badly. I’m glad that hellish 3 days is over.

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Norwich Pride

Hello. Had a enjoyable day in my home city for Norwich Pride. But I’ll start at the beginning.

Which is at home. Simple, got myself ready at took a couple of selfies.

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Selfie

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So, I got to the Forum and an hour later went downstairs to the curve before “Beyond a fringe issue: Why everyone should care about trans rights”

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As you can see, nobody was there at the start. It took a few minutes for the prsenters to show up. And they did. They are CN Lester (Trans activist and musician).

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Then, after that at about 12pm, was “Question Time Debate” (minus shouting over each other). Some quite good questions and answers came out of it. (None of which I can’t remember right now. :/ )

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Afterwards, I got talkong with CN Lester about various things and me and Hannah (My gorgeous friend) agreed for me to show CN the way to the Chapelfield Gardens, where they were going to perform some songs later on. And more pics, with me and CN making silly faces. 🙂

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So got to the Chapelfield Gardens where CN Lester was going to perform as well as Voter Kernal (My beautiful friends band!). While there, met some new faces and old. And found myself generally chilled out for the rest of the day! 🙂

Me and Hannah! :)

Me and Hannah! 🙂

Voter Kernel performing.

Voter Kernel performing.

After that,Me, Hannah and some others was going to chill out at one of the forums cafe. While waiting for them, I met Elly Barnes and got to chat a little with her and , yep, more pics!

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So it was quite a day. I even felt like my ears might’ve popped from all the whistling from the parade that I was trying to avoid. But I enjoyed the whole day and just loved all of it. 🙂

Suffolk Pride

Been to the Suffolk Pride today and i’m just writing up the things that has happend.

 

So, i’ll start of with, left home, got on bus, realised i forgot my wallet and a couple of bottle water. Oh well, i have my phone to listen to my music with…….. Got on train, looked in bag…….. forgot phone. -_-

So the whole train trip was ok, except at the start, i wasn’t meant to jump straight on as soon as the train arrives, they do a bit of cleaning before they let people on. Oops.

 

Got to Ipswich (first visit ever!), found the waterfront easily, but not where the stages were. I was where the parade march would’ve started. So i got to talking to some volunteers and asked where the stages are then genereal chit-chat, where i was from, how old i am, etc. Then i walked with one of the volunteers (I think his name was Ed, not sure) to the main pride area where the main stage plus stalls were while the parade was marching very slowly behind us. Got to the stage and met my good friend Hannah, who was in charge of the main stage, so she was very busy.

 

Then i went to sit on the grass opposit of the stage and watch this drag performer Titty Trash being host (and slightly bad singer), for the day and brought on a Brazillian band called “Bafo da onca” who, i believe, was the band thumping in front of the parade. They played their different songs for about half an hour then they leave with Titty Trash coming for the first time, waved away the group then sang a bit (badly) and introduced my friends band “Voter Kernel“. And they played greatly like they do. They even fit in there anti-TERF song “TERF War“, which has, just yesterday, got uploaded onto their Soundcloud.

During all that, while sitting on my arse, I was eating some of my food then after Voter finished got up and had a quick walk around. Went into a big tent where various local organisations, some government, where displaying there stuff about what they do. So i just browsed and….. browsed. I also talked to a woman (can’t remember her name, sorry!) who goes to the same trans meetings that i go to. She works for Victim Support (I think).

Afterwards i listend to another band. From Bury St. Edmonds, Suffolk, “Horse Party” (Awesome band name!). This was the first time listening to them and they rock my boat. They were good, totally my kind of music….. Loud! After that another Suffolk Pride volunteer saw me and recognised me! Apparently, this guy recognised me from Twitter and said thanks to all the tweets (and Retweets) that i made to mention the pride event, which was really cool! So thanks for that Will (i hope i havn’t got these names wrong!!)

Then i walked around a bit more, found the Acoustic Stage, which i didn’t spend much time at all through the day and looked at a couple of stalls that were selling jewellry, belt buckles LGBT ties, etc. Then i got talking to another volunteer, Amy. Who, it occured to me while talking, is also Trans, I thought she was cis, just like I thought Hannah was cis the first time i meet her! Amy was quite nice and found it quite interesting talking to another young Trans person as I only know Trans people older than me, which is cool.

Now, I just realised that this is all in a random order these events, as i can’t remember how everything happend in order so i’ll move on the next things i remember.

I listend to a bit of a speach by speaker Elly Barnes, talking about how LGBT people are different to Heteorsexuals and telling people that talking to teachers at schools to increse awareness about young LGBT students because that, bizarrely, isn’t coverd by teacher training courses. Which is a very good idea that parents should do. Not me though, I don’t have kids.

I listend to a bit of another band (that i almost forgot about, oops) who comes from Ipswich itself, named “The Invisible Monsters“. They were loud too, love that kind of music where it’s loud rock bands! 😀

Also listend to a bit of a Pink cover band called “M!ss Understood“, which I didn’t pay too much attention too. It isn’t that i dislike Pink, i don’t, but it just didn’t interest me much. After that, i said goodbye to Hannah and made my way home.

 

Other bands and speakers i have missed are: “Rajiv” (not a band), “Lost Lungs“, “The Handsome Dead“, Dan Bunker (speaker), “Elephant in the Room“, “Finding Frank”, Hannah Scott (Not my friend, a different Hannah), Janine, Jessica Alice, “Fern Teather Band” and James Morgan.

 

So, i got home (already said that) and i am absolutly stinging hurting, from getting sunburns on my arms, face, chest and back. But it was a good day!

 

Next up, in 35 days from today, Norwich Pride. 😀

 

 

NB:  Janine did have a facebook page but it came up blank and Finding Frank and Bato da Onca doesn’t appear to have websites, FB profiles, Titter, soundcloud or anything else. Sorry!