Changes

I love when things change naturally. When I’m not forcing myself or something else to change and let things evolve.

My last (nearly) 3 years of transitioning…. evolving…. has brough a lot of natual changes.

One of these being my move from the nest of my hometown to a near 3 hour drive up north to be with my girlfriend whom I adore and love so much. We may have difficult times together, but through love and understanding, we come to love each other more and more.

Another change is discovering new things within hobbies and fandom. Like discovering new favourites in wrestling and videogames. Right now while typing this I’m watching NJPW (New Japan Pro Wrestling) Wrestle Kingdom 10 and seeing old and new faces in wrestling that I wouldn’t see watching WWE and TNA all the Time.

Another change is Jobs. Currently looking for a new one since leaving last job after all my contracted days were up 2 weeks ago.

 

I’m now looking forward to what 2016 will bring in terms of my personal changes and evolving! xox

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Lots of stuff happend.

Since my last blog post alot has happend and changed. Lost friends, gained new ones, had lots of job interviews but still unemployed, signed up to twitch to stream most of my gaming, trying to learn to code….. very slowly, getting gendered correctly and misgendered, going on a hospitality course for holiday inn (guaranteed job interview if passed!) and finally, my little break from twitter (which I shall be back on and tweeting before this is published on friday).

 

So, I think i’ll start with the gendering, while going around to places to hand in my CV, a number of times I had been misgendered, but one sticks in my head. This one was going to Clinton cards at the Castle Mall and the shop assistant at the till was the one to misgender me, but as she had brought over one of the managers to mention about me wanting to apply for something, the manager looked straight past me! I’m assuming she read me as female, which was awesome, of course. But I was a little annoyed by the assistant misgendering me.

Also, my own mom still uses the wrong pronouns and still calls me by my dead name, by accident though. And i’m still having to correct her all the time. -_-

There are one or two other gendering stories but they’re a part of the other stories, though.

 

So, something I have started up, live streaming on Twitch.tv. I’ve set this up so I can stream games, but I don’t have a PlayStation 4 just yet. Not to worry, i’ll stream my PC games, which I have done and will continue to do so. Already streamed playing Sonic 1& 2, The Sims 4, Skyrim and Civilization 5. Rumors have it that WWE 2K15 might be coming to PC is well, so if it does, I’m having that game on the PC, if not, PS4 instead (better save money!).

 

So, lost a friend (or two, maybe) and was the main reason why I stopped tweeting, though I stopped for nearly a whole week as a way to take time out of the social networking site and locked my account (or “Protect my tweet” as it’s called on the settings page). As I have stopped tweeting, I was at the same week, been going to a place to take my hospitality course. In the begining, there were two tests, and I passed them both on my first try (as nobody else had managed to do, as far as i’m aware of). Also, as i’m just now typing this bit friday evening, i’m happy to say that everybody there appears to know that i’m trans and the tutor knew the difference between sex and gender. This is totally awesome as it shows that trans awareness is working!! (also, I believe I may have passed the courses so I’ll have new certificates) ^_^

Anyway, back to the friend thing, What happend was I had notice I’d lost a follower, no real biggy, until I found out who. Alexa. This really shocked me as I had no solid idea why (though I think I know why), I was also very upset, felt like I’ve lost a friend and that really hurt me! Although I know she was going through tough times over a backlash over something she put up on her blog, I’ve felt it was unnecesary to unfollow me just because I may have made a bit of a joke about something else. I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything, and I simply can’t understand why she would say nothing about it (though, she had gone quiet, too quiet, for a few days).

 

Finally, trying to learn how to code. It’s a bit difficult but currently trying to build a website through HTML and CSS. I’ve tried this before so I know i’ll get through that eventually. But what I really want to learn, is C++. I have the software, and a guide book. I just need motivation now!!

 

So as i’m now closing this, I have just a few more things to add: I have a job interview monday (Yay!) and I’ve had my first (and 2nd 3rd 4th 5th etc.) visit to the ladies toilets at the course thingy (only because they didn’t have disabled toilets and I deffo didn’t want to go to the mens!!).

 

And that’s it. Wish me luck in my job hunting!! 🙂

 

(p.s. please check out my Amazon wishlist and…. buy me something? It’s my birthday next month, would like prezzies please.)

Strong feelings, work and annoyance with not hearing from the GIC and psychologists.

Lets start with what im feeling comfortable writing about first.

The first thing is calling, the gender clinic, THEY NEVER ANSWER THEIR PHONE!! X( Apperantly, they’ll only respond if you leave a message with your name and phone number. I HATE leaving messages! They don’t even (appear) to have an e-mail address! This isn’t the 19th centuary!

Next, psychologist, who i did manage to talk to. It was about voice therapy and that my GP wanted a letter from the shrink, i have no idea why though. But anyway, called her up last week and it turned out she hadn’t wrote it. -_-

 

Anyway, workplace. Sometimes im having a good time there, other times frustrating. This past saturday i was alone in one of the areas (upstairs) and working in the washroom on my own. Of course there were barstaff but i was the only bar support when normally there is two or three (three, too many, one, not enough). So i was working my arse off on my own most of the night with the occasional help with the other bar support staff from downstairs, but, i had soo much to do! And i after i finally finished when the club was closed, i came down and saw the others so relaxed, that got me a bit annoyed again as some of them are lazy bums on most nights anyway, with me running around like a lunatic.

 

Next, continuing with work but relationships, then relationships outside of work, i find talking about relationships difficult. I just feel guilty that i have any feelings for someone, even if they my friends… or not. which, *gulp*, im worried about typing on here, so i’ll just be as vague as possible.

 

Well, workplace relationships. It’s a little odd at times. Some people seem to want to know who i “like”, some people want to know how i tell someone i love them (i don’t, obviously), to how i would react to someone telling me they love me (laugh at them, if im not interested in them. I know, i can be cruel).

Anyway, i’ve made one friend, i think they’re my friend, at least. But anyway, i don’t entirely get some of the others, one of them reminds me of one of one of my cousin (eeerr!), some seems to want to stand close to me not doing anything while im working (why ARE they standing by me? Don’t they have something to do?!), some make strange high pitched noise and point at me (weird), and another slips up and calls me by my dead name (Grrrr. Asshole!).

Well, last bit next. Relationships (outside of work)…… I have strong feelings for someone, thats it, not much else to say really. :/

 

UPDATE: I no longer have an ask.fm account due to disinterest, i do, however, now have a go fund me account with a donation campign for laser hair removal. Link: http://www.gofundme.com/88mqzo

 

Thats it, hopefully i’ll get started on my speech therapy soon and hear from Charing Cross GIC soon too.

Until next time……. Sleep tight. 🙂

Disappointed

So, today i went to this place that i had an appointment for electrolysis, had a consoltation first then got told they cant do it because of me self-medding hormones and that they require a letter from the GP saying that they can go ahead with the electrolysis.

 

And this was after half an hour of them trying to explain to me stuff i already know.

 

Disappointment is almost an understatement.

Making Progress.

Today i have visited my Nan and have told her that im trans.

 

She has taken it very well,saying she and mother is always here to support me (and others in the family as she said to me)

 

This has been gone alot  better then i have expected, im glad that i have done this, im now much more confident in telling the rest of the family. I wont just yet as i have other things i want to get done/started.