“Passing” and why it’s bollocks.

I don’t “Pass” as a female, and I don’t want too.

I’m trans and I don’t want to run away from the fact, I’ve spent too long in my life pretending to be a boy, but I don’t want to pretend that never happend, that I didn’t live my life as a boy. I did, reluctantly, lived like that even knowing that I was very uncomfortable looking like, addressed as and seen as male. But, that’s a part of my life story and trying to “pass” as female would be like trying to erase 20+ years of me being something else. Something I didn’t like, but still lived with it. Most trans people can’t live with that knowledge or being that gender they never was right now or in the past and that’s fine. But it’s why I don’t want to “pass” for a woman just to look ike a cis woman, I’m not, i’m trans and I’m not ashamed of the fact.

For trans people, to “pass” as female or male in society, means they’re accepted as that binary gender. But for many of us, it’s absolute crap, as it’s quite damaging to a trans persons confidence and self esteem to be told by a cis person that “you don’t pass for a man/woman”. It’s an absolute shit thing to tell a trans person and totally unecessary as some cis people may, by no fault of their own, look like the opposite gender! Also, for a lot of trans people, they have to “pass” to feel safe in many countries that are hostile to trans people, especially trans people of colour. That’s really quite sad, isn’t it? For many trans activists, trying to make society be more open to trans people is the top priority, but it is and has been a tough mountain to climb. Recently, Pink News recently put out a story that trans acceptance (or support) is on the rise in america, despite there still being many deaths of trans people, especially trans woman of colour, because many people still don’t accept trans people!

For the Non-binary, agender etc. trans people, they don’t want to “pass” as, or be, either male or female, and being told they “pass” as one or the other is also damaging to their self esteem and general confidence.

For me, as I already said, I don’t “pass” and I don’t want to. I don’t want to wear make-up everyday, I don’t want to always wear typically girly clothes. I still have facial hair and hair on my torso that I shave regularly out of disgust, not to “pass”. I like presenting androgynous but I don’t call myself gender queer or non-binary or whatever. I am female and I can wear whatever I want and if I don’t “pass”, fine. I don’t care what others ultimatly think about my choices in clothes, but I like showing off my new T-shirt or tank top or skirt, but I am who I am and other trans people are what they are. We don’t really care about passing as we’re not here to please the cis peoples ideas and viewpoints of what a trans woman or man should look like. I don’t do and wear to feel safe, I do and wear to make myself feel comfortable in my own skin and it’s the same for many trans people, wether they also do it to feel safe or not.

So basically, we don’t dress to appeal anyones idea of what a binary man or woman should look like. We just want to feel comfortable in our own skin. That s all. Everyone should respect that.

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Thank you for reading this. x